Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
