Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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