That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
