I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize