I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
