.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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