I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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