i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
