You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
