i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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