My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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