I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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