Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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