..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
