How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize