Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize