please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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