Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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