Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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