She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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