i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
