white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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