I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
