i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
