I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
two words...techno handjob
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
