I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
