Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
