I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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