so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
