i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
