I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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