You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
