You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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