Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize