i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
