the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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