I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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