ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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