ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
