dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
