umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
