If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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