How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
