My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Four minutes until I can fart!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
