they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
