respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Randomize
