seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
