Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
