in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
