yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
