It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He shit in the fireplace
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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