Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
The air taste purple.
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