i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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