I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
