You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize