whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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