You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
