Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
