Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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