i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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