Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize