if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
