nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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