I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
