Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
