i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
