you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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