So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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