Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
