using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
