She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
