All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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