What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
