DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
whose parrot is this?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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