jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
