dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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