I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
